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alhanna

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Sep. 4th, 2009 | 12:04 pm

I just realized something

I don't matter.
I never will matter.
All that is wanted is for me to begone and away from them
And Ill never have that family love again.

Wow and that's a really self defeating set of statements there, but unfortunately as far as my family goes it is the truth that I need to accept. Don't think I'm going to go run out and do something stupid because of it, Ive always sorts known, Ive never had it click so solidly and irrefutably.

I think it may be time for me to give up and just go.
I think it may be time for me to let it all go.
I think it's just time for me to go.

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Janel Adair

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from: polychromatic22
date: Sep. 4th, 2009 07:19 pm (UTC)
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Somewhere, somewhen I heard someone say that you have two chances at a happy family. The first time when you are a child. The second time when you are an adult if you choose to have a family.

Now that I have kids I can see how true that is. Mothering these kids is actually healing something in me that was hurt by bad parenting.

Never was I going to get the approval or unconditional love of my family as a child. My now family? That's different.

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